sh*t happens.

I just realized something.



I was inside the taxi earlier, stuck in traffic on my way to work, when I just realized that if I want something with my life all I need to do is to go for it. I have been thinking a lot about life stuff lately, as you know. While the taxi driver was talking about some fire that happened somewhere in Cebu last night, I noticed these two girls outside, maybe waiting for a jeepney. They both looked like college girls, seemed oblivious to the heat and the carbon monoxide that they were inhaling. They could pretty much afford to ride a taxi but I think they preferred to experience the thrill of riding amongst different people inside a cramped jeepney. I suddenly realized that life is actually all about choices. I chose to ride a taxi because I want comfort whereas those girls chose to wait under the blistering sun and wait for an overcrowded jeepney because they wanted to ride in one.



In life, we always get to a point where we need to decide where we want to go. I can remember the movie Sliding Doors where the character of Gwyneth Paltrow experienced two different lives just because she missed the tube. I have never been one who considered the what-ifs and the what-could haves. I just go with the flow. I never even recognized until this afternoon that the life I have right now is of my own choosing. Why did I have to struggle with semi-depression and self-doubt when all these were actually my fault? Not fault as in fault. I mean it was my decision to be friendly, to answer calls and to be away from home, right? I can only laugh at myself now for not realizing this earlier. I could have saved myself the hassles of what I just went through. Damn!



I now vow to do everything that I wanted to do with my life. There’s no stopping me now. If I fail, I will fail. I will just count it all to experience then. Who cares? It’s my life anyway and I have already offended and maybe even crossed people before and if need be, I wont care if I will do just that again. There’s a big world out there waiting for me and all I have to do is just go for it. I thought I was mature but now I appreciate the blissfulness of being innocent.



Life is full shit, yes. But if you clean out those shits you would live in a pretty tolerable world.



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I have seen The Da Vinci Code. Let's just say I should've spent those two and something hours sleeping. Read the book instead.