thoughts

The sky’s slowly turning into a deep shade blue with splashes of orange and vermillion. Here and there you can see some hints of purple and some twinkling stars splashed somewhere in the horizon. The wind is softly rustling the leaves of the young mahogany trees, kissing my skin while I took a drag out of my menthols. Watching the sunset is really one of my most favorite passions. I purposely woke up early today so that I can catch the wonderful display of color at sunset. Sunsets make me nostalgic and right now I badly needed a blast of nostalgia. A lot of things happen during sunsets, at least in my life. It was a nice Sunday afternoon, the kind of late afternoon that makes you wish you were lying in a field somewhere watching the dusk settle down.



Wherever I go, I always make it a point to watch the sunset. Sunsets are romantic. A beautiful sunset is a sign that the evening is going to be beautiful too. I have always preferred dusk over dawn. Sunrise means you have a whole day of toil ahead of you whereas sunset means a day of toil is over and it’s time to unwind. I can still vividly remember those late afternoons in Dumaguete when I would just sit outside the Silliman Church watching the beauty of Mount Talinis during sunset. The sunset today made me wonder if years from now I could still enjoy a sunset the way I take pleasure in it now. Life has been a roller coaster ride for me so far. Everything just seems to be on fast-forward that enjoying a sunset means waking up early. When I was in high school, my friends would often tease me that I’m such a romantic. I can never see the romance of a sun setting before. I just though that it was beautiful. Years later, I realized that indeed sunsets were indeed made for romantic rendezvous. I never had a romantic moment happen during sunset. I know sunsets are romantic because it makes me think about myself and my life.



Staring at the horizon with all these things in my mind, I started on thinking if I have done everything I have wanted. I wanted a lot of things for myself. I never plan, as I’ve said before. I just made mental notes of what I want in my life. I may sound trippy at times and maybe even annoying but I can be serious sometimes. Lately, though, I have been contemplating on this on. Am I really this immature that even my friends, the few ones who know me inside out, don’t take me seriously nowadays? It pains so much that I can never confide to anyone of them the deepest desires that I have. I am someone who wants to fly free and not be confined in a box. I knew this even before I knew the Law of Relativity. Maybe that’s why people turn repulsive towards me when I start talking about stuff. I always express what I feel and I have never been one who tells lies just to make someone feel nice. Nice. What a word. I cannot even describe myself as someone nice. Vulgar, maybe, but nice? I can just laugh.



All traces of sunrays had disappeared in the horizon. I had just finished my fifth stick of menthols. I looked at the sky and found a hundred or so stars twinkling down at me. Why would I care about what people say about me? I never cared before so why now? I think this sunset is making me think too much. The sky just turned a deep shade of blue and before long, it will be completely velvety black. Yeah why care? I just saw one of the perfect sunsets this summer. That would be enough for now.

***photo courtesy of www.deviantart.com***