I am surrounded by a lot of friends but why am I feeling so alone?
And not just alone but I feel like I don’t have friends at all. I am someone who doesn’t choose friends. If I like you and you’re cool and we hit it off, then we’re friends. In fact, I am forever surrounded by friends: at the office, at home, at the mall, and even when I eat. I just have so many friends (acquaintances that turn into constant companions that end up being my friends) that sometimes I wonder what I’d do if don’t have friends. Life is actually a bliss if you’ve got friends around. I have been blessed with some very good friends who have been with me through the rough roads and the cross roads of my life. Some of my closest friends have been with me ever since God-knows-when. Lately, though, I feel like I am all alone. I don’t know why I am feeling this way. I have actually read somewhere that most young people nowadays experience the Quarter-Life Crisis. I tried to check it out in Wikipedia and here’s what I got.
The act of being alone is good. It makes you think about stuff and about your life. What I do not like is the feeling of being alone. I thrive on friendship and communication. Even without a mobile phone, I always try my best to reach out to friends. This feeling of being alone is already driving me mad. I have never felt this way before. I have come to realize, though, that even with a hundred friends around you there’s just about a handful that’ll be there with you through and through. But where’s this handful now? I am not blaming my friends for what I am going through right now. Nor am I implying that that they have abandoned me. I have them with me still. But why do I feel this way? Have I really been too emotionally-dependent on others? Do I have to start living by myself and come to terms with the fact that one day soon I would indeed be alone with no one to run to but myself?
I cringe at that thought. If this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life then I would rather prefer to die right now. I am not kidding. People are social beings; we all thrive for attention and the comfort of friendship. I hate this feeling. I hate myself for feeling this way. I am currently at my most productive years. These are the times that should be spent on squandering life away on things that are useless so that when I grow old I can look back and say “I did it all and I did not regret a thing”. But did I really do it all? Am I now regretting every decision I have done? Is this the how my emotion is coping up with the things I have done so far?
Oh! Help me sort my life out, please.
***photo courtesy of Ting***
5 comments:
hey, a friend told me evryone is born with a hole in their hearts, no one can fill it only HIM. God bless!! :)
Well, this I have learned so far:
In life, you only need A FEW GOOD FRIENDS. Just one or two will do, but these people aren't your run of the mill friends, but people you trust.
Take good care of these relationships, and you'll never need another friend.
Drama ba?
Cheers!
Thanks!
honeyboi, i think so too. but one thing is amiss. i am an atheist. but thanks for dropping by.
momel, i so agree with you. one good friend is enough.
hi my dear! God im feeling this too! But you know, like Momel's line of thought, maybe that's precisely the problem. You have all these people that do nothing for you but just accompany you around. Maybe this is the cosmos way of telling you to rethink your priorities and go for relationships that matter- those that make you a better person.
my goodness, i speak like a grown up! :)
Thanks for the insight, Tricia. I think so, too. I am actually sort-of reassessing my life. Haha! Good luck to me! I really hate serious emo stuff. It freaks me out all the time.
Post a Comment